To,

My sweetest friend Brain,

Its been 21 years, Ive been with you. Sorry to say, but i cant take this badge anymore, i gotta leave now.

you and your crazy thoughts, you have always discarded my dreams as if it was a garbage. you always stopped me from being simple and forced me to pretend like a complex mystery to impress and attract unknown faces who are insignificant to me. the times i wanted to cry, u stopped me because everybody was there, it would have embarrassed you. the times i was happy, you were never contented. you have always been chasing something to fulfill your never-ending greed for respect and recognition from social circle. im sick of all this blaming and complaining.

I understand, we must be cunning, smart, intelligent enough to win the race, no one really cares who is the loser, no matter how good and noble he is. it is the winner, who gets glorified. now that im leaving, i wont be there to pull u down, you will be strong enough to be a winner, ull never break, ull never loose your confidence, ull never fear anything, ull never cry and most of all, you will never feel lonely. it was me, who caused those smallest tremors to turn into the biggest earthquakes. the more i ponder, u c, the monster inside, it grows huge. im confused, puzzled and estranged with this world.

Look what have u become? playing ego games, overpowering others, trying to pretend wise, plastic smiles and all that shit. i dont want to be a part of this whole system, where u say all this shit is necessary for us to survive. fuck it. when you are done with your chasings, break that circle, liberate your soul, look out for me. it might take you decades, you might be leading a dead old man with white beard and handful of trophies. ull find me free and isolated, gazing at the stars at night, under the moon on a distant island, where the ocean wont make any sound.

Ive got scars, one for every tear ive wasted. Im not meant to be here, kind of a social misfit i am. its a mad world, you are taking me to. leave my hand, I dont belong here. I fear the competition. I fear the people around.I fear myself.

nevermind me n my pissed off depressing ways.

Goodbye.

Only Yours,

Bloodstained Heart.

P.S. : wouldn't you miss me?

If I can

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with triumph and disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

- Rudyard Kipling

We had this poem in 10th, it was amongst the most boring text because i never understood it. but now its like something, i deeply believe in.

a friend of mine said to me once
"Life is a big fucking chutiyagiri"
the more im trying to prove it wrong, the more im getting it clear that somehow he was right.

everyone arguments, everyone blames, everyone wants to prove that they are right, everyone wants to prove that the person in front is wrong. along the way they forget basics, n why they started talking.
they all want attention, respect. i kno, we all want it, but plz dont get addicted. noble view gets leaked out of mind as if theres a black hole outside, they all want to win the argument. they dont know what is the solution. its total war of words, theres no respect or peace. they read newspapers to gather information so that they can throw it on their opponents face. they stay updated to win the arguments. everyone wants to win. who will solve? they never step back, even when they get to know that they r on the wrong side!!! their ego barks like a testosterone driven dog. why not help each other, develop mature, understanding and noble relationships, find answers n solutions, together?


n where do i stand in them? gotta get rid of some shit that has accumulated over the years of harmful social brain programming.

once upon a time, a baby goose denied to go with its flock. he died of cold n hunger that winter, alone.
this time, theres another baby goose, being stubborn to fly away with them. I wish he lives forever.

Shades of Gray

Stop, Look Back


Think, Choose

Walk.

Sometimes it rains, sometimes it pours but most of the times, it doesnt.
just so simple. I used to like movies with happy endings. but now, somehow I love stories with sad endings.
melancholy is like some silent ocean water. it makes no sound but its so deeply bluesy.