I see a woman in the night
With a baby in her hand
Under an old street light
Near a garbage can
Now she puts the kid away, and she's gone to get a hit
She hates her life, and what she's done to it
There's one more kid that will never go to school
Never get to fall in love, never get to be cool
- Niel Young
Ive been fighting with this "I" for a long time... how much self obsessed we are with our I.
when we talk, we want them to listen. we hardly listen to them.
when we sit alone, we want someone to come n acknowledge our loneliness.
when someone ignores our I, we go crazy. It hurts.
thers a thin line between pride n ego... n ive been getting tangled, spotting that line for me.
its not a line, its some kinda hypothetical 3D curve, in our shapeless mind.
or is it a complicated confusion im makin for me to get tangled.. huhhh.
or do I like when someone thinks that I am a deep thinker, philosopher who can make himself a spiderweb of thoughts....
shit, its embarassing when I deliberately hurt my own shitty ego.

count, how many times Ive used this word I.
count, how many times u use ur I. out of those 60,000 thoughts, in a single day, rarely a thought is about something which is not related to this I.

I think,
I wish,
I don't,
I know,
I would,
I have,
I hate,
I want,
I like,
I am.

but its really good to clean our closet once in a while.
kill that ego, n fuck those ego boosters, life wll be much more colorful.
I need your "I". I want your "I". I cant live without your "I", even though Im always concerned with my I.
It will be a different world if everyone gives a chance to other's I,
"I guess"
just took a walk through the streets. everybody is happy, at least for some time. kids playing with each other.. laughing.
a rich kid came with his father n bought a lot of crackers, n at the corner of that bent street, i saw another kid holdin hand of his mother, a widow with not much money, looking at that cracker's stall.
n then somethin took hold of my mind.
a boy in our college canteen.. merely of 12 years old. after loosing his father, he left school. came to mumbai from some village. Satyam, yes thats his name. when i talked to him last year, i somehow felt the deepness of his voice, lost innocence. it still drills me.
when i see firecrackers. im unable to see the light n sound they make, i always find myself thinkin bout the tiny hands that made them, n the smoke trail it leaves behind...
Finally they released there ninth studio album.. I was waitin for it for a long time.
n now that ive heard his voice n lyrics, im feeling blessed.

A golden baritone full of emotions. thats all.

we are all confused. fuckin confused about each and everything.
its just a state of mind. its all a state of mind. silence or absence of sound. vaccum or nothing.
brain is jus another piece of shit. u c, the drive comes from the heart. they say u have to be practical.. n what do they mean? that uve gotta control that drive inside.
am i a human being or an animal first?
love, hatred, concern, anger, compassion, ego, sadness, jealousy, fear, peace, guilt, happiness..... list never ends.
like brownian motion. spins around ur head every second. the whole spectrum.
n we've gotta find a path. but to where?
am i still confused? or its just that i love to get confused? fuck.

"all the thoughts, you never see
You are always thinking,
brain is wide, brain is deep
are you sinking?"
-Eddie Vedder